kelley long

After read the blog written by siew lee.. i think i should also write a blog here for me and my fren’s memories in the future..

Formis bring me a lots of experience.. i hav lots of my first time here..happy and unhappy one.. still remember the time i go formis for interview.. it’s a raining day..and we are oledi late..but most unlucky is..my shoe spoilt..i go into the office without wearing shoes.. at tat time..i really feel like wanna give up.. wanna go back..but luckily got justin and jack.. jack help me to buy a nice new shoe.. justin try to comfort me..help me borrow shoe from iris.. i am unlucky..but everyone is trying to help me.. thanks to bao yi and fanny also..cus they help me to wear shoe at tat time.. tat day i am interviewed by PA Lim.. he is veri nice..laugh alot..and interview me for quite a long time..i veri scare at tat time.. dunno wat myself is talking

     The first day i goto formis.. i immediately attracted by 2 guys..brandon and adam.. becus of wat..? leng cai lo.. my eye easy to catch leng cai around me..

the first supervisor i get to know is Beon Yap.. he is a nice guy with fair skin.. he give me good impression.. my first task is assigned by him.. i feel veri sad when he wanna leave..becus i really hope can learn something from him..he is a veri talented guy..

the second person i cant miss is Mr Adrian Ling.. he is my only fren.. who can hear me cry alot.. whenever i am down..he will be there.. listen to my cry..explain the situation for me..he so understand me..i know he had spend alot of time to analyze me..becus he can know wat i am thinking even i din tell him anything..maybe this is fate or wat, he changed from the person i scare most, to the person i trust most.. i know he treat me well is from the bottom of his heart..really thanks to him..

In formis, i also found 4 frens..who i cant miss in my life..siew lee, siaw en, yee teng and sau leng.. siew lee is a generous gal..she willing to share everything, her real life story, her feeling, and her food..hehe.. siaw en is like a jie jie..she like to take care of me.. but too serious to her work..until i veri scare of her.. yee teng is like a little child..easy to angry, easy to happy..but veri responsible to his work..he is really a nice guy.. i feel good with him beside me.. sau leng is a quite gal..but when she talk..her words always can surprise us..huh.. we are the 5 monkey in formis..

Alan..emm..when i get to know him..he is a veri nice guy also..willing to help everyone..i still remember every morning he will great me "Good morning babe" and when time to back approach..we will count down together.. he help me alot in my work and spare my time..when ppl bully me..he will help me to scold tat person..tis let me feel veri touching..

Timi..veri close to the 5 monkey at the beginning of the training.. when our pc had problem..we will first find him..he will come to help immediately.. without bother tis will waste his time.. he is the most helpful person for all the trainee.. not selfish at all..a veri veri nice guy..

Kelvin..most hardworking person in our life..but he still willing to help the trainee.. he tries to involve himself in everything in the prj..a guy who dunno wat is tire.. but i remember once i said to him.."u dun scold yee teng la"..hehe..i am so brave hoh..

kim ang..a person who look serious but veri funny..like to make me angry.. but i know he veri trust me.. not happy when work at formis.. make me veri worry about him..cus he always said he is veri lonely..so i try to introduce gal to him.. he also like to talk with me about gal..unbelievable rite.. i not really veri understand him..but i always wan him to be happy.. alone in kl..really veri pity one..

Formis, at here i first time i earn my money..it brings me alots of feeling and thought.. ya..i first veri regret becus i choose to train in formis..but after this 6 months..i feel tat i am veri lucky.. becus it brings me alots of experience.. it open my view.. i see different kind of ppl..

i remembered my fren once said "I am a veri attractive gal, guys easy to fall into my trap"..my another fren said "I am an evil gal..who wish to kill all the guy".. i only wanna said.. ya..i really veri selfish..hope all the guys will treat me well..make me feel not lonely.. but i really dont mean to hurt anyone.. i dun mean to play anyone.. if u all are willing to share ur time and life with me.. i am glad to include u all in my diary.. becus life is too short.. we must appreciate everyone who pass by in our life.. we must fill our diary with something meaningful everyday..becus we will not know when our dairy will end.. I do not hope that when i am in the heaven..looking back to my diary and find tat i had miss someone, something and some time…

I tend to forget thing this few day..

especially on driving.. I cant remember which road to take..although i am quite familiar with that place.. i cant recall the road.. i lost my memory? step on the oil pedal instead of break.. change the wrong gear.. when wanna forward i change to reverse gear and vice versa.. and one veri funny joke.. i change to gear 2 and try to start my engine..when cant start i thought my car broken down again.. and i also speed on the highway..dunno is my leg too tire  or my car hav higher CC oledi.. 120km/h..not a problem at all.. since when i become the real F1 driver..

Beside that i forget my condo access card and key..forget i had send a msg oledi or not..forget wat i wanna say.. and what surprise me most it..i forget what i wanna do..

my brain isnt with my body anymore.. it had run to another world..

am i sick? ya..i have heart attack.. but why i can forget thing.. do i have brain cancer..?

Plss…u all dun push me anymore.. i cant stand it oledi.. i am just a little gal..pls dun force me…leave me alone…!!! let me go..!!

My luck start to get bad.. after my 21st birthday…

one week after my birthday..my handphone fall into the toilet bowl..

few week later..it follow by my wallet..

Then i hav a big misunderstand with my "fren" until i think the color of the world is black..

No only that.. my car break down one week after my father spends RM1000++ to service it.. make me so embrassed when other car complain i blocked the road.

My new spec which cost RM500 also broken few days ago.. need to change a new frame

plus i have lots of problem with family, friends, my study and my health…

nobody will know how down and tire i am..after i experience so much unhappy thing in my life.. everyone thinks that i am happy.. actually i show them i am happy becus i dun wan them to worry..

i feel so lonely.. nobody can help me.. nobody understand me..

my life is so smooth before 21st..

I really miss the time i am in diploma.. the guys around me always take care of me.. cover me from sun when it’s hot, buy me food when i am hungry, talk alots of joke to me.. they never give me hav the chance to get bore.. but now..they all hav leave me..hav their own life..hav their gf.. i know i cant be so selfish to want them stay at my side forever.. but..i really veri miss the moment.. the moment full with love and care… they make me feel that i am wanted.. i am not alone..

i am once a diamond..appreciate and love by many ppl.. but now.. i look down at myself..i lost my pride..i lost my confidence.. i am not me anymore.. can anyone help me bring back the lost me..?

通常願意留下來跟你爭吵的人，才是真正愛你的人。

常常我們認為會跟一個人吵架一定是跟他感情不好，其實不然，最容易跟家人吵架，最常跟情人吵架，最會跟好朋友吵架。

想想，原來最常跟我們有爭執的人竟然都是跟我們最親密的人，而能夠跟我們發生爭執的人也對我們有一定的瞭解，所以有人常說『吵架』也是一種溝通，而願意跟你吵架的人，才是真正想瞭解你的人。

有時候我們與人發生爭執時會說『算了』，或者『不說了』，這兩句話其實都是殺傷力很強的話，代表著你不想把你的想法跟他說，不想讓對方瞭解 ，也代表你們的感情會停留在原地。

有時兩個人爭執，忽然聽到了一句話『我是為你好』；在感情的世界裡，每個人都很自私，有人常會對你說『我是為你好』，這其實是很不負責任的說法，因為我們會把自己的觀念加諸在別人身上，為他人決定一些事，但是再想想，對對方來說，你的方法真的好嗎？

你為他決定了事情，但是要負責的人卻是他，這是很不公平的，唯有他自己才能決定什麼是對自己最好，若是錯誤的決定也才不會有埋怨，也才能對自己負責。

朋友的相處傷害往往是無心的幫助卻是真心的，忘記那些無心的傷害　銘記那些對你的幫助， 會發現這世上你有很多真心的朋友      

俗語說: 只需要花一分鐘注意到一個人，一小時內變成朋友，一天讓你愛上他，一但真心愛上    卻需要花上一生的時間將他遺忘   直至喝下那碗孟婆湯   

最近的，其實最遠！你知道嗎？人一旦上了年紀之後，身邊的朋友就會慢慢慢慢慢的離你遠去。

因為忙、盲、茫。很多時候，我們總是各忙各的！於是，開始想念起以前的朋友、老同學或是老同事。寂寞的時候，總是不時地會想到要去翻看那些被壓在箱底多時的老舊照片，然後開始細細的品味充滿酸、甜、苦、辣的過去。

看著照片回憶著當時的情況和藏在每個人心底的秘密；仔細閱讀過往的信件，想讀出當時寄信人和自己讀信時的心情；努力回想 打來的每一通電話，想用力的記起 說過的每一句話，猜想著當時在話筒那一端的你的表情；

捧著泛黃的記事本

我小心翼翼的讀起在裡頭上演的每一段故事，每一分每一秒都記錄的清清楚楚   當我覺得你離我很近的時候，一伸手，抓住的卻是空氣。

當我覺得你離我很遠的時候，不知道你是不是會用盡一切方法對我稍來消息。

Harlo everyone..actually i just wanna say thanks to u all for giving me support during the time i am down..especially those who leave their comment here..those who call me, sms me ..and chat with me at msn until midnite.. huh..i really never thought of so many ppl will care for me..love me .. and treat me as their little sis..or maybe little daughter.. i am lucky enough to know u all.. suddenly i feel tat i am wrong.. when u all ask me out last time, i always reject u all ..as u all know la.. i am a family gal.. family will always at first place ma.. but i promise.. when i am free.. not matter u are guy or gal.. i will also spend my time with u.. cus i really appreciate the fren who really care for me.. i love u all..muaks…

The moment i write this blog.. I feel very stressful.. that’s lots of problem and emotion come to me together..make me cant breath at all.. I am totally lost.. I am very scare.. i dun wanna back to the college.. that place isn’t belongs to me.. I dun hav a real fren there.. ya..it’s true.. i am belongs to no group.. always alone.. why can be like tis.. am i really so difficult to deal with..?.. I oledi try my best.. but why still can be like this.. i dun like to be alone!!!

This is my final year in college.. i know it will be difficult for me.. what i scare most is i need to present my seminar.. i veri scare.. i easy to get panic when speak in front of lots of ppl..my mind will get blank.. no matter how well i prepare.. i will also cant do well at tat moment.. ya.. you are rite..i dun hav confidence.. i scare.. i dun like ppl control me.. but i always get control by people.. ya.. becus i lack of confidence..

why all of you only know how to point out my fault, but never explain to me how to correct it.. ya.. maybe u all will say i should find a counsellor or maybe physcologist.. cus i am getting crazy.. day by day.. until a state that i cant control myself.. i dunno wat i am doing.. i am pessimistic.. but no one wanna bring me back to the correct road.. nobody wanna bother me.. maybe i should say no one have time to bother me.. all people only wanna mind their own business.. who really care i will become a phycho one day.. no one will care.. cus it’s not their business.. ya.. i have to learn to take care of myself.. huh.. but i cant..

frens..i hope you all can accompany me pass through this difficult period.. maybe no one will admit you are my fren.. but why dont u all just help me.. just like u help a child who lost in the middle of the road.. i need support.. i need care.. i cant stand this difficult period anymore..pls… i also dun wanna be the next tarcian appear in the newspaper.. but maybe..it’s the only way i can get away from all these problems..